Bill's Favorite Quotes

Better to give from a warm hand, than a cold one.
The lender has a better memory than the borrower.
Only negotiate with those that can say yes as well as no.
That little drawer in the rest home only holds your wallet, teeth and glasses.
It is more blessed to give, than to receive.

You always get back more than you give.
You never see a hearse pulling a U-haul.
The most difficult thing to do is give away your money.
What good is money when your feet hurt?
Save your pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.

What profits a man who gains the whole world but suffers the loss of his soul.
Everything you own is temporary.
I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man that had no feet.
Nothing of value is ever acquired to easily or cheaply.
If you would learn the value of money, go borrow some.

The only thing you can take with you is what you give away.
Money not used is valueless.
It does not take brains to spend money, even fools can do that.
Justice decrees that habits developed by the miserly prevents them from enjoying it.
The best things in life are free.

An honest man is the nobelist work of god.
No man ever stood so tall, as when he stoops to help a child.
A man will do a lot for a colored piece of cloth.
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
The squeaky axel gets the grease.

Oil and grease are cheaper than parts.
A motor needs fuel, air, and spark in the right amounts at the right time.
Lift hard and it will come easy.
Righty tighty, lefty loosey.
Don't make a project out of it.

My grandma was slow, but she was old.
Free help is poor help.
A new broom sweeps clean.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Think, there must be a harder way.

I cannot feel sorry for someone dumb enough to get hurt.
You cannot out think the computer chip in a slot machine.
Lose your temper, lose the argument.
It takes many good deeds to make a reputation, but one foul deed to ruin it forever.
Three things you should never loan out are your car, your gun, or your wife.

As the tree is bent, so grows the tree.
The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave man dies but once.
The mind controls the body, or the body controls the mind.
A woman becomes her mother.
Girls should never marry a man that mistreats his mother.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
When the one you love is in love with you, you don't know how lucky you are.
A wise man knows everything, a shrewd man knows everybody.
Once on the lips, forever on the hips.
You never learn a thing when you are talking.

Illegal is a sick bird.
Waste not, want not.
No one gives a damn about your tattoos except you and the guy that's not going to hire you.
The lead dog has the best view.
The bigger a man's head, the easier you can fill his shoes.

If you ride the tiger's back, you sometimes end up inside.
A woman finds heaven or hell on the day she becomes a bride.
Free advice is usually worth what you pay for it.
Enough spider webs can trap a lion.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a lot easier than putting it back in.

The second mouse gets the cheese.
Drugs are like a rattlesnake, you know what to expect when you pick them up.
When you see the teeth of a lion, don't assume the lion is smiling.
A journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step.
Education is the ability to meet life's situations.

No speech can be bad if it is short enough.
Any fool can start a war, but winning the peace is a lonely battle.
One cannot fight alone.
Don't be snowed by authoritative speakers.
An expert is a man from out of town.

Every path has a few puddles.
The best way to get rid of an enemy is to make him your friend.
Never corner something meaner than you.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
A short pencil is better than a long memory.

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it is raining.
If you are not the lead dog the view never changes.
Anyone can follow, but few can lead.
A man's character cannot be determined by the color of his skin.
The test of a man's true character is what he would do if he knew it would never be found
out.

Temper is one thing you cannot get rid of by loosing it.
The mind can retain what the seat can endure.
Quaint and curious war is, you shoot a fellow down, who if you met in any pub, you would help to half a crown.
Act in haste, and repent in leisure.

Take what you want, but eat what you take.
Money is not everything, but it keeps the kids in touch.
Let me pick the candidates and you can vote for any of them you choose.
Give the man your card, and good things will happen.
His qualification are that he was once in the furniture moving business, and he learned never
to lift the heavy end.

Here is a picture of the woman that drove me to drink, and I have been eternally grateful.
Anyone that hates dogs and kids cannot be all bad.
What is the easiest thing to get into and the hardest to get out of? A bad habit.
The willow tree can be stronger than the oak.
If it bleeds it leads.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Don't let a ride in a hearse be your first visit to church.
The fool says in his heart there is no God.
Any fool can spend money, it takes a smart person to save it.
Only back up as little as necessary.
He who has not seen Seville, has not seen anything beautiful.

Leaves of three, let them be. Red touch yellow, a bad fellow.
I marvel at the beauty in all the wonderful works of God.
A safety rule, no ifs or buts, is drive like everyone else is nuts.
Man is closer to God in a garden than anyplace else on earth.
Don't do as I do, but do as I say.

Preach the gospel, but only use words when absolutely necessary.
Poor fellow, your day is done.
God does not play dice with the universe.
There are only three good jobs, federal, state, and local.
The primary purpose of government seems to be taking from one class and giving it to
another.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day, teach him to fish and he will eat for a lifetime.
A son is a son till he takes him a wife, but a daughter is a daughter the rest of your life.
History is a series of lies.
The victor writes the history books.
Trust but verify.

The pen is mightier than the sword.
Oh justice, how many sins are committed in thy name.
Better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all.
Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
Be sure your mind is engaged before putting your mouth in gear.
He who steals my purse steals trash, but he who steals my good name robs me indeed.